DAY 6: CHILDHOOD MEMORY
having tea or coffee when the day is hard, emotional or exhausting. normally had with a scone and with my mother. That will happen in a month although im pretty sure it will be on happier terms :)
I logged on to facebook today to see my brother has filed his divorce papers. You may think that since i didn't know this before we must not be close. Quite the opposite although for some reason I don't and have to understand making it a status is his way of dealing with it. For me though it was a punch to the stomach reading it not knowing that it was today. Ah I CANT cry, I have to leave for work in 20 minutes and I don't have waterproof mascara on! Ok. I know it's not my marriage, it's not my business but I am his sister and her sister and I was her best friend. So yes. The end of this, of them is hard. Quite bittersweet, although for my brother I have to say quite sweet. His precious heart is in desperate need of healing as Avas is in desperate need of help and love and Jesus. The weirdest thing...Ava is in my dreams almost every night. I can't seem to get her out...I wonder if thats my hearts way of saying I need closure. I need to see her and talk to her rather than just go about my feelings on here. I have not talked to her since November, when I didn't even know the extent of their issues. Isn't that kinda weird? Anyway. It's going to take some getting used to - them not being them. 92 days and it's official and my brother can finally move on. Oh divorce, I never knew it could be so ugly. Especially how many people it effects, how it can cause other people to not trust their husbands or wives..It's of the devil. Marriage is hard people. I am blessed to have Chris but It's not a picnic. It's work! I wouldn't change it for the world but my little picture of what it was - the fantasy that I made it - It's just much more - hardship, commitment, trust, communication, total teamwork. I guess thats why Paul thinks we all should be single. ha. Oh man. My dearest brother, he will find a second love. I know he will get the best because of his faithfulness and his heart. Anyway - I've gone on long enough about this. Pray for him? As it seems to me that he is doing just fine moving on and being surrounded by friends I still know he hurts. Thanks friends and family and people I've never met but it feels as if we have a kinship. Have a beautiful Thursday :)
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