Day 6:{top:VS, Jeans:AE, Undershirt:Walmart, Necklace and Bracelet:31BITS, Sandals:Mahina}
Chris and I finally had a day off last week....it seemed like it took forever to get there. Feels like we've been exercising all day every day by the distances and hills we've been taking to work and then working full shifts and the occasional missing a bus and having to walk twice as far. I know it's probably good for us but we are exhausted! We come home late, barely eat, crash, sleep in way late with enough time to rush to work and then it starts all over again. There is no time for anything fun or that involves energy, it's been kinda frustrating. This last friday we got some money in so we can get our car in to a shop HOPEFULLY today, if not tomorrow and then two days estimated for them to fix it. So last thursday Chris and I took the bus and the trolley to costco and target (no car = no picking up dry cleaning, grocery shopping etc...) So we did some of these things with backpacks and recycled bags in hand only getting the necessities. Catching Fire was one of those needs :) I read the first book The Hunger Games and LOVED it. So now I'm on page 100 and still just loving it. The SUSPENSE! Well even though we still did crazy amounts of traveling on foot that day, it was much more fun...we didn't have to rush, we got pizza at at woodfire pizza place, and ice cream too :) We have a day off tomorrow and I can't wait to hopefully just stay at home all day long. hah. LAZY!?! We deserve it!! I think my muscles are seriously strained by overuse. SOO out of shape. Im going to make sure I work out when our car is up and running so I can give those muscles the love they've been craving for oh so long.
July 14th. My sister in laws 24th birthday. or EX?? sister in law. The day she brought the divorce papers filled out to Caleb, the day Caleb filled out the papers with Dads help and presence. The day I see on facebook that the papers are done. I got the wind knocked out of me. I never knew it would hit me like that. I knew it was coming. I knew it was only a matter of time and something that should happen, but the reality of it all, of them being officially no longer Caleb and Ava was a hard concept to take in. I went in the bathroom and just lost it. Saying goodbye to to good that was my old friend and my sister. Realizing im once again sister-less...something I asked to have every christmas growing up. Thinking of the hurt that Caleb could be going through and knowing I can't be there for him. I can't come over and cry with him or hug him or reassure him that they made the right decision. UGH. SICK feelings, hurt feelings, and massive amounts of sadness. Felt a bit like a death. Ava was so much more to me than most people know....Not as of late obviously but it was hard to know I won't have anything to do with her ever again. My Maui Mom got me out of my funk when she said "She was NOT the person you thought she was. She doesn't even know herself! This is a blessing. She has lied to all of you!" She was soo right. I've been so up and down about all of this. Confused as to how to react. Probably since I'm going through it a long distance away from all my family and (not a pity party but truth) alone. Truth is she has lied, and hurt us significantly. Caleb deserves soo much more and I am happy he's no longer a part of that damaging relationship. On to better things in life. I will have another sister in time. I am hopeful that some people who aren't in the position of Caleb's sister(me) can stay with Ava and continue to remind her of right and wrong and guide her on the right path. She doesn't need to believe in God again although that is our wish for her, but just that she can separate bad from good and sort out all the issues that run so deep in her creating blindness. To me - even though I don't even know if the Divorce is what you would say "Final" with lawyers present and all but that night knowing both parts were signed, their marriage is done. Thank goodness the Lord gives fresh starts and renews our minds, that he loves us unconditionally and won't give us more than we can handle. My brother, he is on the mend. He sees God like never before and that alone is the biggest blessing to me and the family. He blessed God by how he dealt with this whole situation, he will be blessed in return.
My tigger baby keeping me company in the bathroom...:)
It was such a rough night, calling for cookies and wine.
The next day I felt much better, all cried out. hah. I did lots of cleaning at a slow pace and was super productive. I was in SUPER comfy clothes, had the blinds closed and the fans on making it feel like Washington on a rainy day even though the sun was shining away. I didn't care. Most of you know I LOVE the rain, and I miss it terribly. I was homesick that day and not talking to anyone for fear of falling apart again...so it was a peaceful me day. Cleaning, getting things done, drinking hot coffee, watching tv, reading my book, lovely.
Day 8: {Jacket:Elise Second Hand Store, Dress:Elise Second Hand Store, Purse:Ross, Key Necklace: Husband, Belt:Target, Sandals:Mahina}
Day 9: {Scarf:Hale Zen, Top:VS, Undershirt:Walmart, Skirt:Old Navy, Purse:Ross, Jewelry: Maui Silver Jewelry}
And this was my sunset last night - looking at the top of the mall, headed to the trolley station. Last night was so nice. We took a cab hah. But we were home before 8, had a lovely dinner of chicken caesar salad, bagels for bread, and then brownies and wine for dessert. We had a nice evening together and weren't as pooped as we have been. Refreshing :) I can't wait for what this new week will bring. Here is what I hope for : (order irrelevant) 1. Caleb's heart to be happy, 2. another friend to have financial miracles come to her and her family or just ANYTHING good, 3. our car to get fixed at the estimated price that we know and nothing else to be wrong with it, 4. for us to make friends, 5. I KNOW we are hanging with John and Heidi tomorrow night and im excited, 6. time to read and craft :), 7. my little brother will keep having people to tattoo so he can be ready as an employee, 8. my big brother to stop getting sick, 9. that I get some photo jobs? 10. that I get more hours at work, 11. that Chris has a great week not feeling exhausted hah - thats all i can think of for now...I hope you all have a GREAT week.
