Where has the time gone?!?!?

Ok.....SO! One year and 9 months ago Chris and I moved from all we knew and loved (being Bellingham, Washington) to Maui (where we ventured on our honeymoon). We really had no expectations or timelines as fas as how long we were going to be here...frankly i didn't know if we would last past 6 months (cause i didn't go into it with the most open heart...) but here we are today - HEAPS more in love and better at many things relationship wise, not quite as naive to what happens in the real world and have quite the list we can write as to what we DID do before we die :) Sooo with our hearts set on making the move this December (to a state we think we are sure of but still won't voice until there is a ticket in hand...), a move to settle down with all our things and getting more grounded job wise..the reality of it all is beginning to set in. aaaannd slightly freaking me out. OK! So I'm not all that great with change, Chris can leave without looking back - I am a tad bit more emotional - ok thats a huge understatement..(these darned birth control pills!!) Just thinking that we will be renting a home, we will have everything that is ours, we will be settled (granted not a house we will buy but it will be more of any kind of "home" than what we have had for 2 yrs) we will be getting jobs that we will hope to keep for 1-5 years. AHH! and then once we have insurance and Chris is ready we will be thinking about babies...which is just hmmm a little crazy real to me right now...i don't know why i am having these freaked out feelings...I have ALWAYS wanted a baby with Chris - like heart Aching for one...ever since we got married I have been secretly hoping i will be one of those girls that gets preggers on the pill. I think since the "Plan" is just finally up to this stage....im just way more aware of the reality of all that goes into having a child..and seeing my cousins statuses on facebook talking about what a rough time she is having and my friend just having only the priority of the baby and thats all she can handle right now.. and well ya know..how everyone trys to freak you out and say how it will be soo hard and life changing and really think about it, and i just smile and say nothing you can say will keep me from desperately wanting a child....well - i think the tired and frustrated and bummed out moms have gotten to me just a little. Not making me not want one but kinda scaring me. I just don't want to be a pregnant person who complains all the time, and is all about me - i still want to care about my other friends and keep updated on their lives...i want to be real but still kind to my friends as i get near labor...i want to be the happiest mom in the world not being mad if others want to be around but making time for me with baby too...I want to just take in all the trials and tribulations and see them as blessings from the Lord and come out praising him. If some people I know who i looked up to as really strong amazing woman who had it all together struggle with this...am i going to be the same way??? hmmm just thoughts in my brains lately. This change is just such a bittersweet one. Leaving the people who have been our encouragers and taught us soo much. Maui Family. Ohana. Leaving the ocean. Leaving the place that has been the experience of a lifetime. Not all good, but for sure not all bad. Leaving the ocean....thats huge...hmm but then going to the mainland to CONTINUE our adventures :) I am sooo excited for Chris to show me all the things he has seen on the mainland...my choices to see are ALL the New England States :) and Montana. OHH and Florida to see my brother and Missouri to see my Grandpa and Show Chris around his stomping grounds :) I can't wait to have a family. We want a lil girlie and we do have a name!! I am DESPERATE for my piano and I get it SOOO SOON!!! I can't wait to have a baby and have my mama come be with me and my dad too - to be able to afford to (compared to maui - 1000$$$ each time..)!! I can't wait to REALLY develop my photography business again (like I did in WA.) I didn't plan on having it here...just toward the tail end when i was finally into Maui I decided to go for it - even though it may only be one shoot a month :(. So - now ya know where Kats wandering brain is this fine evening. Oh and I can't wait to get a dog too.... a big one! hahah....I'm thinking within a week I will be able to reveal the next pin on our map. YAY!!! Ya'll have a good night! I am going to go snuggle with Tigger and watch mindless TV!